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Friday, December 21, 2012

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words... and I Owe You All At Least That Much, Considering how Long it's been Since My Last Post!!

Merry Christmas Bloggies! 

I know.  I know.  Don't even say it.  It's been too long.  And I don't even really have an excuse.

(Okay that's not true).  I do have an excuse.  I got a brand new big deal iPhone 4S and forgot to save the things listed on my handy dandy notepad.  And there was a LOT on that handy dandy notepad.  No telling how much ridiculousness just vanished with my ole iPhone 3G.  Also-- you know-- just LIFE has kind of gotten in the way.  I've been busy!  Here's a quick recap:

New Client
We plan continuing education seminars for healthcare professionals.  I started in October(I think) and so far I'm really enjoying it.  I'm getting to work with a great group of folks, not to mention, one of my besties, Shelly Gary, who also got me the gig (shout out!).  Here is a picture of us from last weekend looking super professional. 
Just kidding.  That's not how we dress for work. 

New Projects Around the House (Office)
(because who doesn't love a good before and after shot?  Am I right?)

New Projects Around the House (Guest Bedroom)

New Boyfriend

New Boots

I mean-- did yall know that tall boots come in "wide calf" now?  Best.thing.that' 

New Holiday Flare for My Front Door
... ... Which, my friends, FINALLY brings us to Christmas time! ! ! 

I'm excited!  I don't mind that it's still 65 degrees.  I like it, actually.  I'm headed South in the morning and will do a quick tour o' Mississippi before I land at my parents' house on Christmas Eve.  I've got friends to visit, parties to attend, a niece and nephew to squeeze... all starting tomorrow, and I can't wait! 

I need to get something off my chest though before I go... 

Can we all just take a moment and talk about some of these Christmas themed  made-for-tv-"movies" ?  (I use quotes as not to offend any real thespians and/or screenwriters out there). I have such a love/hate relationship with them, and this happens to me year after year after year.

They seem to have such potential in the previews and then I sit through the ENTIRE thing (not once have I been able to turn one off) but I am always left underwhelmed, dissatisfied, kvetching.  It's just kind of amazing how anti-climatic and bad they all are, right?  But I watch them.  Oh, how I watch them.  Every.damn.year.  I watch them.

The one I watched tonight was called Christmas with Holly

They tricked me!  Again!  It was mostly awful. 

Some other notably bad ones include (but are not limited to) A Princess for Christmas.  Anybody seen this one where this attractive, young, woman assumes guardianship of her niece and nephew and they travel to Europe and stay in a castle with an estranged relative where she falls in love with a prince who she is somehow not already related to?!  Ahahahaha.  Ridic.

And what is up with 73% of these holiday films comprising young, attractive, unmarried men and women losing a sibling and having to take on the responsibility of their kiddos?  Do they not KNOW that this has been done already??

I do have a special place in my heart for the one where Michael Keaton dies and comes back to hang out with his son in the form of a snow man. 
He's gonna melt at the end, yall.  Consider yourself warned. :(

But nothing --and I mean nothing-- tops the one where the girl from Charles in Charge hates her current life so much that she crawls through the washing machine in her basement and comes out on the other side married to her high school sweetheart, getting to experience her life as it "would" have been.  "Should" have been? Whatever.  The point is-- everyone should see this at least once.  Maybe it's the element of time travel to the whole thing-- but I just can't change the channel if it's on tv.  I have to sit there and watch the whole, dang, awesomely atrocious thing.
You should too.  Ahahahahha.

I could jabber on about these all night (No. Really. I could).  But I think it is time to put my tiny wine glass away and call it a night.  For I have packing to do and minutes to type in the A.M. 

I thank you all for reading my blog this year.  I love sharing my life with you and every one of your "thumbs ups", commentaries, and comments make me smile.  :) It has been a year of much joy...much sadness... laughter... romance... love... loss...disappointment... some highs... some lows... and every thing in between.  "That's life, " as they say...

At the end of it all though, I know that I have so so much for which to be thankful.  I cherish my family, my friendships, my job, my health, and my faith as we come to the end of yet another year, and I wonder how it has all passed by so quickly.

I'm sending much light and love to you all tonight.   Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas wherever you are! 

Until next year, I bid you adieu. 
As always, yours ever.

"Aunt My"

Friday, August 10, 2012

Hi all,

The lazy days of summer have been just that, but we have much to catch up on...

Let's start with this:
I mean--- whaaaaa?  I'm sure you've all seen this on the news by now.  He was drunk, he was naked, he was driving a Pontiac Trans Am.  I repeat, whaaat?  But--you should hear how country radio is railing on him up here in Nashville.  Seriously, with friends like that--who needs enemies??  Mr. Travis helped put you on the MAP, country radio!  It seems this guy has a serious alcohol problem and needs to get help.  I've had his song "Baptism" rolling around in my head ever since his horrendous mug shot popped up on my tv.  That's not a bad thing.. That's an awesome thing.  Please enjoy this song, courtesy of the man himself.  For real-- just click play and finish reading this blog entry as you listen to it.  You won't be sorry.  I'm rootin' for ya, Randy!  Praying for you too.
In other alcohol related news-- my friend Layton and I went and had a BIG time out on the town a few weekends ago.  We took a cab home (note to self, Randy Travis) and I persuaded the driver to run through Krystal before we got home.  I haven't done this a lot since college, but it happens every now and again.  Anyway-- we got back to Layton's house with our food and she had this HUGE bottle of ketchup in her refrigerator.  Like one of those ones from Costco... You know what I'm talking about??  And it was full.  And she got it out and was shaking it vigorously, and I mean vigorously, in an attempt, I presume, to rid any of the watery red tented ooze that can happen if you're not careful.  So she's shakin' shakin' shakin' it and WAM!!!        Drops it... ...  RIGHT. ON. MY. FOOT.  It hurt so bad.  I mean-- soooo bad.  I started crying real tears right there in her kitchen.  Just slumped down on the floor crying and held my foot and looked into her eyes as if she was Satan's lap dog.  She felt so bad and honestly-- it would have been funny if I hadn't been in such PAIN.  I thought  surely it was broken, but alas-- it was not.  Just a little blood blister on my pinky toe the next day.  The price you pay to the party gods, I guess.                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Moving on... I've recently returned from a trip out West.  Not the wild, wild West (dang), but rather Los Angeles and San Diego.  I got to see my good friend Luke in LA and we toured the Paramount Lot where he works which was super cooool.  I got to see fake Chicago and fake New York and all KINDS of things.  I wanted to get a picture of myself on the steps of one of the NYC Brownstones doing my best "Carrie Bradshaw" impersonation, but we were pressed for time, a security guard was eyeballing us, and I wasn't wearing the right shoes... Bummer. We hopped on a train on Sunday to San Diego.  It was a lovely way to travel.  I highly recommend it if you have the chance.  Oversized seats that lean wayyyy back.  A drink car that serves alcohol and views like this one all the live long day...
Luke got a little reading done whilst we were chuggin' along.  I'm included this next picture just for my own enjoyment, as I don't think he will like it much.  Ha.  I call it-- "Luke, on a Train."
San Diego was mostly work, but I tell you, it. is. beautiful. there.  I'd like to go back one day soon just for fun.  It is 70 degrees YEAR ROUND there, can you believe it?  I'm not sure why we all don't just move out there, honestly.  I logged some serious time in meetings, went night swimming, and ate some EXCELLENT Mexican food just in time to avoid death by starvation. Perhaps that's why it tasted SO good.  :)

I think that's all I have for you today, folks.  I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!  Thanks so much for reading.

As always,
Yours ever,

Friday, June 15, 2012

Summa Time


It's been too long! 

You all probably know that I love summer.  I love the water, I love the sun, I love sitting on my patio at night.  It's also the season of weddings,and I've been to two thus far.  An observation--if I may: 

Catching the bouquet at a reception doesn't ACTUALLY insure that you will be the next person to get married.

Right?  I mean--everyone knows this I assumed, but I gotta tell you that the last TWO weddings I've been to-- I don't think this was the case.  I was elbowed in the ribs like NOBODY'S BUSINESS at a wedding in Austin in May, and some girl's high heel literally DREW BLOOD from my shin at the wedding I attended just a few weeks ago.  People were fighting to the death, I tell you! It got all Hunger Games up in there for little. Ridiculous.  That's going to have to be the last bouquet toss I force myself to endure.  I've been looking for a way out for years now, and I figure a bruised rib and a scab on my shin are as good excuses as any...

In other summer time news-- I had the pleasure of being invited down to Magnolia, Arkansas for Memorial Day weekend where my band, The Porch Swingers, played a gig (okay, we played on Stacey's parents' back porch... it still counts!).  Her nieces were there and they got out the slip and slide on Sunday morning.  In what probably doesn't come as a shock to any of you following my blog-- I couldn't resist partaking.  We soaped it up really well and had an absolute ball going up and down the slide for hours.  Think: Farthest Slide Competition, Best Trick, Best Jump of the Hump, Best Twist, Best Flip etc...  It was too much.  I woke up the next day and couldn't move.  I kid you not.  The pain lasted almost a week.  I was working at my desk a few days later and sneezed three times in a row.  I tell you-- I thought I'd pass out from the pain.  

Does anyone remember this show?

Me neither, really.  Sci-Fi fan that I am, I tried to get into it a few years back when it was on and no one ever knew what show I was talking about because I always referred to it as Kylexy.  They really should have spaced out the letters a bit more, am I right?  Anyway-- I've been thinking about it a lot lately because my good friend Erri had a little nugget baby boy very recently and named him Kyle.  I can't get over how cute he is.  See?
I haven't met him yet because he lives in Knoxville, but I have a real affinity for nicknames. Odds are strong I call him Kylexy.  Just sayin'.

And because blog posts are always better when they include a few pics.  Here are a couple of completely random ones for you. 

A tip for all you box wine drinkers out there: 

If you are pushing on the spout and nothing is coming out and you think your box is ready to be thrown away--- think again.  I thought I was dunzo the other night and then fished out the bag inside and still got  what was close to a full pour out of it!  You should always always do this, people.  No need to waste.
I've got a 10 day meeting going on in Nashville right now.  I really try never to complain about my job because I feel so fortunate to have a job that I enjoy and get to do from home.  However, IF I were to have a complaint-- it would be the schlepping.  My chapter saves a lot of money if I go shopping and buy snacks as opposed to paying a hotel or caterer or something like that.  I put my Costco Membership to good use as I am there at least once or twice a week.  Here is a picture of my cart from the other day.

I mean yall should have seen me pushing this thing around.  I'm known for being freakishly strong, so it wasn't unmanageable, but it was about three times my size and people were literally laughing at and heckling me as I rolled by them.  I have to go and buy about twice this much today after I've posted this blog entry.  I'm a little nervous about it, but I've got on my tennis shoes so that I can get some good traction.  I wore sandals the other day when I was pushing this around.  Rookie mistake.

And last but certainly not least... 

I don't pretend to know anything about sports.  I like a good tailgate party, but I rarely even know what season it is...  Despite this, I still really love a good sports movie and this is mainly due to a little thing known as the half-time speechVarsity Blues, Remember the Titans, Rudy, Facing the Giants, the list goes on and on...  I'm always inspired and, truth be told, I usually cry.  However, I came across this on youtube the other day and it made me laugh.  I've probably watched it 15 times.  So stinkin' cute. You really must see this. I hope it brings a big, bright smile to all of your cute faces!

As always, thanks for reading.  Happy Friday!

Yours ever,

Monday, May 14, 2012

Steeplechase is not for everyone... APPARENTLY

I've been waiting for something pretty epic to happen before I blogged again.  My notepad is full of subpar fodder, and, truthfully, I respect you all way too much to waste your time.  So I'll just get right to it...

Steeplechase was this past Saturday in Nashville.  It's supposed to be a horse race but in all my 10 years of attendance, I've never seen so much as a trot or gallop.  Like a lot of other things, it's really just a good reason to get together with your friends, put up tents, let down your tailgates and drink all day.  Ladies wear hats, men pastels, you get the picture.  Anyway-- I opted out this year.  Not sure if I'm growing up or just becoming more anti-social, but  I'd been asked to babysit and figured it was wiser to make some money and put it towards my office renovation than spend a bunch of money on a ticket and be pigeonholed all day.  Plus I hadn't seen my favorite kiddos in over a month, and that's just too long!  Ruff is 13 now and Celeste is 11 and I've been keeping them for 10 + years.  Crazy how time flies... ANYWAY-- Ruff and I were on our way home from dropping Celeste off at a friends dance recital thingy, so it was just us in the car.  We got to a stop sign near their house, and I commented that the car that had the right of way looked like a bunch of Steeplechasers.  It was obvious because they had about 9 people loaded into a 5 person sedan, a cooler on top of their car, and I counted at least two bow ties and one large hat.  It was around 4 o'clock.  They were obviously packing it in early.  Some people just can't hang all day...   Right about the time I was thinking about how lame that was--- this guy hung his head out of the passenger side window and started vomiting.  Everywhere.  I'm not kidding.  His buddy didn't stop the car or anything.  In fact, I think it's safe to say he sped up!  Probably in an effort to get this kid home to his bed, but still--- I don't think it helped the situation. I was like--RUFF-- Are you SEEING this?!!  This 13 year was so grossed out.  Ahahahhahaha.  He was like-- "awwww, man!  He is throwing up, groooooosss!" This guy started wiping his mouth and face with kleenex and throwing them out the window and they would fly back at our windshield and it was seriously pretty terrible. 

After about a mile of this--we got to the road their house is on and needed to make a right turn.  I said-- "Ruff, we're at your road.... but do you want to keep following them??"
His eyes got real big and he kind of perked up and said, "Um, YEA!"
Ahahahhahaah.  So we did. 
It was more of the same for about another mile and then they cut through a gas station parking lot and we lost them.  IT.WAS.AWESOME.

In other, unrelated news, I mentioned in my last post a little bit about how my Mississippi roots run deep.  So deep, in fact, that I can't eat a Wendy's chicken nugget without thinking about how much they resemble the shape of the state of Mississippi.  Right??

Emily and I were having pizza the other night, and I happened to look down at her plate.  Just look at what I saw!  She had unwittingly eaten both of her slices into the shape of the state of Mississippi.  Can you believe that?  I couldn't.  Love it!

Anyway-- I hope all you mother's had a good day yesterday.  I am a bad daughter and didn't make the trek home for the occasion.  I did, however, ship a really good lookin' pair of cowboy boots home for my sweet momma, as she has been wanting a pair for months.  She loves them! 

As always, thanks for reading.
Your's ever,

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Birthin' Babies Down in Mississippi

Oh my!  It's May!  I can't believe it.  A whole month went by without me even posting.  I don't have a lot for you this time, but I did spend some time down in Mississippi last month.  I needed to be there for the birth of my new nephew, Walter Kirk Atwood II (Walt).  I know I promised to never turn this into a baby blog... and I won't.  But this is worth at least a few lines, right?  I mean--LOOK how cute he is!!!  Here are some pics. 

I mean, could these two nugget bones be any sweeter??  Seriously.  I think not. 

I was at my sister's house most of the time but had to run back and forth to Momma & Daddy's house some too.  It should only be about 30 minutes away, but do you know what I forgot about driving in Mississippi in the spring time?  You have to allow extra time for TRACTORS.  They just stay on the main roads like there is nothing strange about that at all.  And if there is a double yellow line, you are totally screwed.  No telling how much time I wasted behind those things.

On a more positive, farm related note-- My sister-friend LauraFrazier and I got up reeeeally early one morning to meet our friend Rebecca and go for a run out on her and her husband's farm.  We ran 4.2 miles on a cotton field turnrow beside some train tracks with the sun rising in the distance and the smell of honeysuckle in the air...  You can't believe how beautiful it was.  I wish I had a picture to show you, but I'll forever have the snapshot and memory in my mind.

I  LOVE having roots AND wings.  I'm always so happy when I reach those unmistakeable Mississippi Delta flat lands, and I'm equally ecstatic when I'm headed back on I40 and see the skyline of downtown Nashville up ahead in the distance.  They say that home is where you're heart is... and I feel really lucky to have TWO homes.

I'll try to be funnier and more sarcastic in my next post, yes?  I'm running to the airport now to hop on a plane to Austin, TX for the weekend.  My friend Susanna is gettin' married, and I'm so excited to spend the weekend with my girls.  Some of them I haven't seen in over 5 years!!  Will be a blast.    

Until next time,
Yours ever,


Monday, March 26, 2012

We all Fall Down

Ello, Bloggies... (that's British),

Happy Monday.  I hope this post finds you all happy and healthy and doing well. I wanted to write while the weekend was fresh on my brain. Plus--March is nearly over and I try and blog at least once a month, so here goes. 

I've seen a couple of bumper stickers lately that I felt were worth a mention. I hate a bumper sticker on MY car, but I'm glad other people like them, because I really have found it to be some great reading lately.  The one I saw the other day said:  "Lead me not into temptation.  I can find my way."  I mean... ... can I get an amen?! 

Also, I was on the 440 loop in Nashville a couple of weeks ago beside this HUGE white F150 extended cab pickup truck.  It was dusty as hell and this guy had a four-wheeler in the back and at least one rifle that I could see.  He also had several bumper stickers including one urging us to "coexist" and one that said, "Namaste.  Change comes from within."  I didn't get a good look at his face, but if anyone reading  knows this kid-- tell me-- because I think I might be in love with him.  This town needs more enlightened, self aware men who drive pickup trucks, and that is a FACT.   You can't imagine how hard it is to get anything transported in this town for free. I've resorted to daring methods such as strapping a mattress and box springs down to the top of my SUV.  I now own a set of 4 bungee cords, and don't THINK I don't know how to use them. 

Have you ever been around someone and just thought, "You know-- the more you talk, the less I like you."  Maybe THAT should be a bumper sticker.  I have an epic story about a blind date I went on Friday night, but I'm going to need a little time to process it before I can write about it.  I'm not kidding.  It was THAT bad. 

In other completely random and unrelated filler-- how great is it to watch someone fall down?  Seriously-- I can't even tell you how happy it makes me.  Some of the greatest falls I've ever seen were taken by my good friend Emily Strong Marlow (college - present day).  She's seen me take a few spills in that time too.  We are always able to laugh at ourselves about it, which made the story I'm about to tell that much more hilarious to be able to share with her.  

We went to Five Points Pizza in East Nashville recently.  It's a cool little place with really good slices and a good list of draft beer.  There's no juke box, but they do play a little music overhead.  We were in a booth, but there were two kids sitting near us at a high top table.    Anyway-- this kid couldn't have been more than about 6 years old.  A song came on that he liked, and he started chair dancin'.  It was really cute until he fell out of his chair and went splat on the concrete floor.  Ahahahahaha.  It made a really loud noise.  I'm not even kidding.  [I can't even breathe I'm laughing so hard as I type this!]   He fell out of his chair (bless his little heart) and Emily and I just could NOT stop laughing.  He wasn't hurt or anything--- just embarrassed as all getout.  And he totally saw us laughing uncontrollably, and so did his parents at the table next to him and eventually so did the ENTIRE restaurant.  I mean--- we just couldn't get it together to save our lives.  There were tears in my eyes.  I was literally laughing so hard I was crying. And then the rest of these people started cracking up-- not at this kid, but at US because we were just being so ridiculous. It was amazing, but they may not allow us back in there.

I feel I MUST copy and paste this gchat from Emily that literally just came through as I was typing up this blog:

hey i was thinking yesterday about when we were getting out of the cab Saturday night and you were running inside and almost fell into that hole and then over that shovel that was in my yard! hahaha
1:41 PM


i didnt ALMOST
i did
oh man
i am actually blogging about falling right now
you are featured
ahahahhaha of course i am!
you were like...oh my gosh why is that shovel in the yard! oh my gosh! ahahhaha
funny stuff, i had a lot of fun that night!

Just too much of a coincidence not to include.  Bwhahahaha.

In closing, there are just a few things listed on my handy dandy notepad that I feel are worth a mention and then I'll leave you to your day.  These are in no particular order or importance... 

- Standing at only 5 ft tall, I find I am CONSTANTLY asking myself (while shopping), ---Is this a shirt or a dress?
- How old is Mr. T now?  Seriously.
- I liked that Darius guy a lot better when he went by the name of Hootie.  

That's it.  The end.  

Yours ever, 


Thursday, February 16, 2012

Cruisin' solo. Meat. Truth or Dance.

Ello bloggies, (that's British)

Lots to say  in this post.  Let's start with the fact that I went on a cruise by myself.  I went on a cruise by myself.  I said that twice because whenever I tell people that-- the first thing that comes out of their mouths is "whaaaat?"

But yes.  It's true.  My sweet friend Emily was supposed to go with me, but lost her grandmother to Pancreatic Cancer the day before we were to set sail, so she had to sit this one out.  I was sad for her.  She and her grandmother were close, but also because this little lady needs a vacation more than just about anyone I can think of... Alas, however.  It was not in the cards for her to go.  And since it was non-transferable and non-refundable, and I already had the time off work-- I forged ahead without her. 

It was fun.  I don't mind being by myself.  I really don't.  But I think it made everyone else on the ship VERY uncomfortable.  This includes all the staff and pretty much anyone I met the whole time I was on the trip. I've got stories for days.  I think they thought because I was traveling alone, I wanted to be included in everything THEY were doing.  This couldn't have been further from the truth.  I found myself lying a lot and going down to the "Serenity Deck" to read where there were no kids and no loud music allowed.  I was disappointed to see that there were a total of about 4 attractive people on the entire ship,  so I felt confident that I wasn't missing anything that was going on on the skank deck Lido deck.

I'd never been on a cruise before, and this was a Carnival cruise.  They, apparently, cater to a younger crowd, which I thought would be good thing.  I soon found out, however, that "younger crowd" was just code for "people with a lot of tattoos that think this entire experience is an episode of MTV's Cancun Spring Break".

The beaches were gorgeous.  The weather was perfect.   I got an hour long massage out in the open air of Progreso, Mexico for 15 dollars!  I went ziplining in Cozumel, and it was awesome.  I also went snorkeling.  Soooo fun and beautiful... until a jelly fish got me on the knee.  It hurt a lot, but I'm not harboring any hard feelings.  I've logged many an hour in the ocean in my life so far, and it was the first time I'd ever been hit.  I spent the rest of that day in a hammock on the beach where it was 80 degrees and there was a constant breeze and sunshine.  Not a THING to complain about in that scenario.  I had lots of time to think.  I had lots of time to pray.  No phone, no computer, no distractions.  Just me.  I loved.

I'd like to move on now because there a few other things I'd like to share here and then clean off the notepad on my iPhone.

When's the last time you heard of a baby under 9lbs being born? It's been a looong time for me.  Maybe there's just something in the water around here, but mark my words: baby weights are on the rise. 

What about slapping raw meat in the grocery store?  I recently found out that not everyone does this!   I mean-- whaaat?!  Whenever I see a giant slab of meat just hangin' out in that refrigerated section of the grocery, I have GOT to slap it.  I just do.

And while we're on the subject--- I wonder why meatloaf gets such a bad wrap in the movies?  I guess the name could be better... ... but my friend Kelly made it the other night, and it was delicious!  I think meatloaf is awesome.

A bunch of my friends decided they were going to cut out alcohol during the month of January.  I actually decided that I hadn't been drinking ENOUGH and upped the ante a little bit.

And while we're on the subject of drinking.... I ran across these never-before-seen-photos the other day and thought I'd share a few.  The game we are playing is called "Truth or Dance."  It was  a surefire favorite of our crew's back in the day.  It's played exactly how it sounds. Everyone forms a circle and you spin the bottle. Whoever it lands on gets to tell a truth about themselves or get in the middle and dance.  Hilarious.  I don' think anyone's given up a truth in about 5 years.  We got together last February at my house for my good friends Zach and Amanda's engagement party.  It started out really sophisticated and grownup and ended up with Fireball shots and Truth or Dance...

It was awesome.  


That's all for now.

Yours ever,

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Happy New Year

Howdy bloggies,

Happy New Year! ! !  I cannot BELIEVE another year has come and gone so quickly.  It seems like just yesterday when I poured that flask of leftover NYE whiskey down the sink in the locker room in the YMCA and almost killed that old woman.

Sigggghhhhh.  Some great memories from 2011!

So this year-- I'm trying to take back a little bit of my anonymity (this word is extremely hard to pronounce, am I right?).   I got off Facebook, so I think that is a huge first step....    I'm going to give you a second to let that sink in...

That's right, you heard me... I got off Facebook.  I'll tell you the basis of why in a minute but let me just stop here and tell you what a hilarious time I've had telling people that I made this decision!  I didn't do it in this like "big annoucement" sort of way.  In fact, I didn't even really tell anyone at first...  something would just come up about FB in conversation and I would say, "oh yea-- I'm not on there anymore."  I mean, YALL!  Bwhahahaha.  People would react to that statement as if I had just kicked their baby or something! Comments vary slightly but go mostly like this:   "WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!"    "WHY?!"   "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"  "DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO YOU THAT WOULD MAKE YOU DO THAT?!"  And then, when I'd say "No, nothing happened."  People are all disbelieving like---"Um, no. Something must have happened and you're just not telling us what it is."  Bwhahaha.  So here's the scoop.  Nothing "happened" per say, but I have been tired of the annoying over sharing on there for a while...  i.e.  The ignorant status updates no one cares about, people's political convictions, the breakups, the makeups, the inappropriate photos of other people, the unflattering tagged photos of myself, the bathroom habits of peoples' toddlers,(what IS that about, seriously?)  the description of what folks are having for breakfast, lunch AND dinner--- Oh, man, it just got to be too much!!!  I needed a break.

The root cause of this decision, however, was planted because I started dating this guy (briefly) from Chattanooga that I met following the Avett Brothers show here in Nashville in October (ok, YES, we met in a bar.. but it sounds much better to say it was after a cool folk concert, yes?).  ANYWAY, long story short-- I tried to google stalk him.  Socially speaking---  people are google stalked for three primary reasons.  I'll list them in order:   1.You're not on Facebook.  2.You exhibit several red flags. 3.You don't exhibit ANY red flags.  This guy, we'll call him Chester (for no other reason except that I think that is a funny name), didn't exhibit any red flags.  And then, when I tried to find some on the internet-- I couldn't!  This kid wasn't on Facebook, he didn't have a Linked in account.  I couldn't find a thing about him when I looked up the "so-called" bank he worked for etc.. etc.. etc.. So then I started thinking.  Dang.  Maybe this google stalking is harder than I thought.  So, I put my OWN name in the browser.  Do you even KNOW what all came up?  My name, my address, my phone number, my Facebook page, my Linked in page, my work website, about 1 million photographs of me and my family, my friends, my ex-friends, my house, my dog!  Wait, whoa... I got carried away.   I don't even have a dog.  Whatever.  My POINT is... it was ridiculous.  Most of the pics and info came from my having a Facebook profile.. that's all I can figure.  It kind of freaked me out.  Also-- nothing wrong with proceeding through life with a little air of mystery about you,  if you ask me... So. Ta-dah!  Here I am.  Faceless in 2012.  .... .... I meant-- Facebookless in 2012.

Moving on...   It has really been on my mind lately to ask someone about America's recent affinity with green tea.  I just don't get it.  It tastes like hot water with a little bit funk added to it for good measure.  Terrible.

And finally, last night I dreamed that the Barack Obama's dog was pregnant.  I mean-- whaaaaat?!  I've had pregnant dreams before when I wake up sweating and stressed and panting and terrified of the embarrassment and hardship of being an unwed mother and what that would do to my life-----but this was WAY WORSE, let me tell you!  One minute I'm in the Oval Office with the Barack Obama's (and I keep referring to them as such because they were all there...  -- Michelle, Malia, Sasha, the President) and the next minute we were all in this barn out on this farm in West Virginia and their mutty dog was giving birth to 6 puppies!!  Straaaange I tell you.  I have NO idea what this means.  You know, sometimes I can sort of decipher meaning from my dreams or at the very least sort of derive why I dreamed it.  For this-- I have nothing... but thought is was at least worth a share due to it's randomness and recent occurrence.

As always,
Yours Ever,