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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Several of you out there have asked me to post with more frequency.  First of all, let me just say--thanks so much for the love!  I am really going to try to keep you, my fans, happy--- but I gotta tell ya (secondly)--- that the frequency of my posts have more to do with the randomness of my day than anything else.  If yall are okay with that-- let's get right down to it:

I like a lot of things about Nashville.   My friends, my job, my house, my neighbors, the vast array of single men in this town... and last but certainly not least:  My church.  I've been attending West End Community for over 8 yrs.  I have some great friends there, the music is AWESOME , and last week  (along with a few others) I was running just a few minutes late on Sunday and I found my preacher, Carter Crenshaw, outside the front door frantically waving his hands in the air and yelling loudly: "Come on in, Sinners!!! Yall come on in!!"  Ahahahahahaha.  Hey, it's not for everyone, but I dig it.

It has recently been brought to my attention that I dated a nerd.  You may have picked up on the fact that I don't blog much about current relationships.  The men in my life don't seem to like it (and honestly--why jinx a good thing, right?) but anything in the past is sort of in the "no holds barred" territory in my opinion.  I had one date with this dude a few months ago-- who I actually kind of liked-- but for whatever reason, he didn't like me, and I never heard from him again after that.  He was a friend of a friend and it was set-up sort of thing.  After about a week of not hearing from him--- I called my friend Melissa hoping she would be able to make me feel better.  I am paraphrasing here, but the conversation went basically like this:

Roll camera:
 
 ...  Melissa: "Oh, Myra, puh-lease and whatever!  I used to work with that guy and every Christmas he used to dress his car up like a reindeer!  I can't even believe you liked him."

Myra:  "Um.. WHAT?!  Melissa!!!  It is completely unacceptable for you to withhold this type of information from me!  I thought we were BEST FRIENDS!"

Melissa:  "We ARE best friends... but I thought you liked him so I wasn't going to say anything."

Myra:  "We are NOT best friends!  What if me and "ole what's-his-name" had worked out, Melissa?!  I can not BELIEVE you were going to just let me go through life dating a guy who dresses his car as a REINDEER at Christmas time!  I'm going to need some time to get over this."

Melissa: "Okay, fine.  Call me when you're over it.

Myra:  "Fine. I WILL. Humphf!" 


Click. End scene.

In other news--  I really hate it when someone tells me I am photogenic like it is supposed to be some sort of a compliment.  Really?!  They might as well just go ahead and say "You are SO much prettier in pictures than you are in real life."  And I am supposed to say thank you to this?  I don't THINK so.  I've started calling people out when they say this.  Try it.  You won't be sorry, I promise.  They get so awkward and it.is.hilarious.

I don't have much else for you today unless you want to talk about The Bachelor.  Okay-- you DO want to talk about the Bachelor? 

My predictions so far are that Emily makes it as one of the front-runners, and Michelle gets a hold of a gun or a knife or an ice pic from somewhere and kills every woman in the house. 
I'd post pics and links to these females if I had time, but I don't -- and really-- you all should just watch it because it's the absolute best show on television.

That's all.  The end.

Your's ever,
Myra

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Bachelor Bliss and Whiskey at the Y

Well, HAPPY NEW YEAR, folks!  My 2011 is starting out a helluva lot better than 2010, let me tell you!  This time last year at my house,  I had no heat, no water, and I'm pretty sure I'd been dumped TWICE already in the new year.   I'm not kidding.  Yes-- this does mean I was seeing  two men at the same time.  Ha!  But my momma always said "not to put all your eggs in one basket", and, truthfully, THAT'S not even the reason either one of them let me go!

Anyway-- moving on.  So, it being an American tradition and everything, you all probably already know that a new season of The Bachelor kicked off on Monday night, right?  OHMYWORD-- the best show on television.  It is awesome and hilarious and painful and awkward all at the same time.  Like a train wreck from which I cannot overt my eyes!!  I can, however, cover them in moments of extreme embarrassment.  Here is a picture that Lanie took of me the other night "watching" the show.

So so so so AWKWARD sometimes, but boy, it is amazing stuff!  --Here's to Brad Womack finding love the 2nd time around.  :)

In other news, I rejoined the YMCA on Monday after a hiatus of several months.  It's just too damn cold to do anything outside anymore and with all the holiday parties and festivities over and done with, I figured it was time. I switched my membership from Green Hills to Maryland Farms because it is so much closer to my house out here in Crieve Hall.  So, I'm having to navigate my way around a new gym... which is never fun because everyone wants to look like they are an old pro in the gym, you know?  So I go in, fill out all the right forms, pay my money, and decide to stay for a workout.  They gave me a key to a locker in which to put my purse.  After an hour of cardio, abs and weight training, I had worked up a pretty good sweat and was really thirsty.  I hadn't initially planned to stay and work out so I didn't have my water bottle with me.  But then-- as I was getting my purse from the locker room-- I remembered that I had a canteen in my purse left over from New Year's Eve.  I went to a party that was BYOB, and had poured some whiskey into a canteen (a poor man's flask, if you will...) and took it with me that night.  Hey--it's all I had, okay?  So, I remember that I have it in my purse and there was probably three drinks worth of whiskey left in there, but I didn't mind to pour it down the drain in order to hydrate my sweaty, tired, worn out body.  So I opened it up and dumped it down the drain of one of the sinks in the locker room.  BIG MISTAKE, people.  HUGE. 

You might as well have been trying to change clothes in the Jack Daniels DISTILLERY after that.  I was thanking my lucky stars that I was in there all by myself right about the time this older woman (probably in her 70's) walked in and I watched her as the smell about knocked her down!  Ahahahaha--- you should have seen her face!  It looked liked someone had burned her nose hairs and she was looking all around like "where in the WORLD is this smell coming from?"  So, yall want to know what I did?

The only thing I COULD do, of course.  I chucked the canteen back in my purse, waived my hand in front of my face in a "phew wee" fashion and said, "Whoa!  Do you SMELL that???  Seriously!?  People are unbelievable."  and then hightailed it outta there!

I'm planning to go back today and am just a little bit nervous that the whole place is going to be shut down due to quarantine.  Ha! 

Here's to the new year! 

Until next time,
Yours ever,
Myra