I know I said I would try to post with more frequency this year, but I gotta tell ya-- with all the rain, endless cold weather, tornados, and the flooding going on down in the Delta-- it's hard to think of anything completely mindless and ridiculous to blog about... you know... which is kind of what I do!
HOWEVER, the first episode of The Bachelorette aired last night and I found myself inspired again! Truly! I find it a lot more entertaining to sit around watching 25 single, good looking MEN in a house--- for obvious reasons.
William is WAY up high on my list of "dudes that will stick around til the end." He does impressions and speaks in accents. I love a man who speaks in accents!
TIM, the drunk guy, was utterly ridic. And that New Jersey butcher's voice and mannerisms (and gold chain) made me want to crawl out of my skin, he was so gross! I can't find pics on the internet YET or I'd post them... but I'm probably going to need to blog about this season because it gives me such joy... and pain... all at the same time. Lanie took this picture last night of me watching.
Moving on-- WHAT ABOUT THIS CICADA OUTBREAK IN MIDDLE TENNESSEE?! Ohmyword--it is KILLING me. KILLING me. Mostly because they have overtaken my patio. MY patio. Not theirs. I can't even sit out there. Hell, I can't even WALK out there without feeling like they are crawling all over me. And now they have started to fly. It's like they've doubled in number because they come at you from all angles. And the NOISE. The DEAFENING noise. You people down in Mississippi probably think I'm exaggerating, but I assure you I am not. Look:
So, lately, whenever one of my friends starts dating someone new-- I'll ask them-- "What do they look like? Compare them to somebody famous." This is a pretty good reference when you think about it because you really get an idea of what realm we're dealing with--- Like, "a less cute version of Brad Pitt" still lets you know that you're not dealing with a total ugo. "Rachel Ray's cuter, younger sister" lets you know we're swimming around in an "about average" range... You get the point. Anyway-- *Thad (we'll call him Thad) was the last guy that I dated and he was always in the gym. I mean-- like a insane person He was short, stocky, drank protein shakes morning noon and night. It was like he had to go run every day or he'd go crazy... Like a Weimaraner.
We only saw each other a few times a week and I was pretty stingy with that time you know.... Because, I felt like I barely got to hang out with him--- So I never felt the need to introduce him to my friends because they would just suck up all my time--- and I needed it... --- to figure out if I really liked him or not. Right?
Anyway, after a couple of months they started to ask me what he looked like and to "compare him to somebody famous." I was stumped. I really was. I literally couldn't think of ANYBODY to compare him to. Recently though-- I figured it out.
Thad looked like a Ninja Turtle.
In other news, I just got back from a girl's trip down to Watercolor where the weather was absolutely PERFECT. I ran into some old college friends who were also down there for a wedding and had a genuinely lovely time complete with cocktails on the beach at magic hour. Not sure what more a girl could ask for!
For my friends who read. Here's a recap of what I read while I had my toes in the sand:
Little Bee by Chris Cleave. A thought provoking fiction tale of a Nigerian refugee and the oil war that exists there in reality. A real page turner, however, there are many sad moments including one pretty descriptive torture, rape and murder scene... so it may not be exactly what you're looking for to go get your tan on...
Carolina Isle by Jude Deveraux. A silly, silly mystery involving twenty-somethings that you should NEVER pick up. She's a New York Times best selling author and I thought it would be a saucy beach read-- but I was wrong. Utterly and Completely wrong. Never read it. Very little character development and the plot, again-- was just silly. It was mildly entertaining at best. I read it in a few hours.
Paradise by Judith McNaught. A romance novel at it's BEST. This is the perfect beach read!! I won't spoil it for you by saying anymore. Just go get a copy and start the love affair (no pun intended). I doubt you will be disappointed. Unless you are a man... in that case-- I doubt very much that you would like it. Not even a little.
It feels good to blog again! Here's to the summer and the sand and the water and regaining ownership of my patio!!
I hope to catch up with you all again sooner rather than later.