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Friday, February 19, 2010

Memory Lane




So, I've probably thought more about high school this week than any other week SINCE high school. I'd had a few pictures I'd been meaning to have scanned for a while and my friend Emily was able to do them for me this week. I uploaded them onto facebook, and it has been really fun getting all the comments from friends I haven't talked to or heard from in a while. I also had an old high school friend come stay with me last weekend... so maybe that's the reason for all the nostalgia.

At any rate-- I've saved a few of my favorite pics for this blog post. Some of you may think they are a little strange... but hey-- we're all strange. I think I just embraced it a little sooner than everybody else.

We are trying to be CK1 models in the first two pictures. Hahaha-- Micheal would probably die if he knew that I'd posted these pics to the web, but the good news is he doesn't have facebook or blog access or even an email account that I know of so the chances of him seeing these are slim. Ha.

My favorite part of that second picture is our unique use of props.. (i.e. the apple, and those sunglasses). It's like were a new age Adam & Eve or something. I think that's what I was going for anyway... And that's the church I grew up in in the background. VERY symbolic--don't cha think? ;)
The third and final picture of me smelling the cotton has always been one of my faves. Probably because I really do LOVE the smell of cotton. And that's my back yard and it just looks like home to me.

Once I took my journal way out there and watched the sunset and wrote a bunch of poetry. My parents didn't know where I was and got worried. They called all my friends and no one knew where I was so they called the POLICE. Whaaaat?! I got grounded. Ahahahaha. It is funny now... but it wasn't then.

I got in trouble kind of a lot. We have this one GIGANTOR window at my parents house and I have such vivid memories of coming home late and seeing my daddy standing there. DOUBLE TROUBLE meant my momma and daddy were BOTH standing there. Hands on hips. Smoke coming out of their ears and nostrils; breathing fire. Hahaha-- I think they were wound a little tight. But you know-- I think it was good I had a big healthy dose of FEAR of them. KIDS TODAY, Humph! You don't really see that anymore. I think it is really funny how my friends and I are all only (more or less) in our late twenties--- but you should hear one of us get off on a "kids today" tangeant. It's hysterical. They drive us all crazy.

And speaking of driving--- no story about my high school experiences would be complete without explaining my wheels. I looked for a photograph but couldn't find one-- but picture it: 1985, ice blue, Cadillac Seville with white leather interior. It. Was. AWESOME! My sweet grandmama had a stoke when I was in 1st grade (Circa 1988) and it left her without the use of much of her left side, so she was unable to drive. She left that caddy sitting right there in her carport until I got my license though! It had a bench seat in the front and we could get four people up there EASY... The only problem was the fact that I'm only 5ft tall and people had to pretty much ride with their knees in their faces. The back seat was like the most comfortable sofa you've ever sat on and we could get six people back there. Do yall realize what I just decribed?! A 10 seater!!! Boy, did we have fun! There was only one rule in my car. No one touches the radio! That's right, I said radio. It didn't have a cd player or a tape deck but it DID have a radio and I listened to all oldies all the time and wore these giant 60's esque cat-eyed sunglasses. Someone once told me that getting into my car felt a lot like getting into a time machine-- and I still consider it the biggest compliment I've ever received.

My folks didn't think Caddy could make it to Starkville, so we sold her and I cried real tears. I'd like to think that she's still out there somewhere.. down in the Mississippi Delta...enjoying life and listening to oldies and able to smell that cotton!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Snow Schmo

OH MY WORD--- I am SO over this SNOW! It started Friday morning and today was the first day I even attempted to drive my car. I needed to go to the post office because that's where I get work-related mail, and I needed to go to Costco to get some things for my meeting on Wednesday, and I needed to go by Shelly & Heidi's house to get some stuff that I left over there when I left on Sunday morning--- and now I am STUCK at their house. That's right, my car is STUCK in this wretched snow and I can't go anywhere. But I'm getting ahead of myself... let's backtrack, shall we?

Friday, Jan. 29, 2010-- The dreaded snowfall begins mid-morning. Everyone is raving about their "snow day". I'm just WORKING from home like always and hating life because I know what this means: No going ANYWHERE this weekend. I begin to miss having roommates. I watched movies at home that night instead of boozing by myself... I figured it was the healthier option, and I felt like I had the beginnings of a cold/sinus infection coming on...

Saturday, Jan. 30, 2010-- I wake up to seven inches of snow. SEVEN. Everyone is talking about how beautiful it is on Facebook, and it is annoying me. Plus-- I'm being bombarded with texts of "Let's go sledding somewhere", but I wasn't even thinking about trying to drive because you all know what kind of luck I've been having in 2010----- NOT GOOD. So, I stayed home all the day... The cabin fever perpetually MOUNTING.

I had bought a ticket to this South Eastern Young Alumni event (SEYA), benefiting the Vanderbilt Children's Hospital, and after receiving word that it was NOT cancelled... I decided to call a taxi and go. I mean-- it was an open bar, for goodness sake, and at this point I could really use a drink... So---

I called a cab. Nehab came to get me in a big giant, snow covered SUV. I don't know where Nehab was from, but I'm guessing it is some place where they don't get much snow. This guy lost control of his vehicle FOUR (I counted) FOUR times. Each time letting go of the wheel and exclaiming, "OH SHEET, OH SHEET, OH SHEET" (that's my version of his expletive in his less than native tongue). Each time..., afterward, when he'd regained control of the car, he'd turn around and say, "Sorry ma'am." I was freaking out internally, but what was I going to do?! In what I tried to make a very calm, soothing voice I said something to the effect of: "Dude, it's okay. Just SLOW DOWN and be careful, geez!" I think I literally said, "Geez." I was also praying the whole time. That cab ride seemed like it took FOREVER, and I think he charged me DOUBLE. Whaaa?! But whatever, I was there, I was safe, I was alive! That was the important thing.

The party was nice. Good food. Open bar. Typical wedding band. Lots of people. It was formal, fancy, classy... ... except for this ONE guy... My friend Melissa and I decided to sit at a table and take a breather from the front row of the dance floor for a bit. I can only dance to Brick House and Mustang Sally so many times in my lifetime, you know? Anyway-- we sat down to take a breather and this guy who shall from this point on be referred to as "Outrageously Inappropriate Random Guy at the Party" or "OIRGATP" comes up and asks me to dance. Well-- he didn't really ASK me so much as he came up and held his hand in my face and wouldn't leave until I agreed to dance with him. He was pretty cute, so I gave in, but I do not like to dance with strangers... mostly because I am really bad at it. At least, I thought I was really bad at it. THIS guy couldn't LEAD his way out of a wet paper sack, and that's no lie. I suffered silently until the song ended (I think it was Tina Turner's "Rollin' on a River") then politely thanked him for the dance and started walking back to my seat. Here is what ensued:

OIRGATP: "Wait! Out of all the girls here-- YOU'RE the one I want to make out with...
Myra: "Um... ... thank you?"
OIRGATP: "What's your name?"
Myra: sighhhhhhhhs--- I'm Myra. What's your name?
OIRGATP: Grabs me around the waist and whispers in my ear: "Can I tell you with my tongue?"

Bwhahahahahaaha-- I MEAN, WHAAAAAAT?! WHO does that?!?!? I mentioned earlier that he was cute-- but COME ON--- Nobody is THAT cute! I laughed directly in his face, said "um, no way" and then basically sprinted to the bar and then back to the front row for the last verse of "Jesse's Girl". You gotta be careful at those benefits!!! Are there actually women out there who GO for this sort of thing?!?!

Seriously, I feel like I'm hit with this blatent, inappropriate behavior from the opposite sex A LOT. It's really sad, right?! I've always wanted to rare back and really slap somebody... and I guess maybe that was my chance... but honestly I didn't even think about it. I was shocked to the point of laughter... only he wasn't trying to be funny! He was serious! So laaaaaaaaame. And at a benefit for THE CHILDREN no less! Humphf!
I can't be the only one who encounters this... but perhaps I am the only one blogging about it.
SO--- to my faithful blog followers, a challenge: Please post in a comment on this post the WORST pick up line ever used on you... C'mon--- it'll be funny. Please play! Please? It will also make me feel better about my life seeing as how, apparently, I only attract douchebags!

Back to Saturday night: We stayed out til' 4am, and I crashed at Shelly and Heidi's house in an effort to avoid death by taxi cab for the 2nd time in a 12 hour period. The snow STILL hadn't melted when we all woke up on Sunday, but I caught a ride home with Jonathan, leaving behind my deodorent, contacts, contact solution, eye makeup remover, moisturizer, and CHAP STICK! You wanna talk about MISERY! Sighhhhhhhhh... I endured the night without it which brings us to present day (actually just a few hours ago). I roll up to Shelly and Heidi's around 3:30pm, retrieved my various toiletries only to come out and find that I am indeed STUCK in the snow.

A BIG shout out to Shelly, Heidi, and David Hefley who were able to PUSH my car up the hill and out onto the street. Yall are awesome, and I owe yall a beer or somethin' soon, k?!

In summation, I would just like to say that if it never snowed another FLAKE ever----I would be hap hap HAPPY about it. I bet Nehab feels the same way.

Don't forget to post your worst pickup lines ever on here.

Love yall, mean it!
Myra