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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Happy New Year

Howdy bloggies,

Happy New Year! ! !  I cannot BELIEVE another year has come and gone so quickly.  It seems like just yesterday when I poured that flask of leftover NYE whiskey down the sink in the locker room in the YMCA and almost killed that old woman.

Sigggghhhhh.  Some great memories from 2011!

So this year-- I'm trying to take back a little bit of my anonymity (this word is extremely hard to pronounce, am I right?).   I got off Facebook, so I think that is a huge first step....    I'm going to give you a second to let that sink in...

That's right, you heard me... I got off Facebook.  I'll tell you the basis of why in a minute but let me just stop here and tell you what a hilarious time I've had telling people that I made this decision!  I didn't do it in this like "big annoucement" sort of way.  In fact, I didn't even really tell anyone at first...  something would just come up about FB in conversation and I would say, "oh yea-- I'm not on there anymore."  I mean, YALL!  Bwhahahaha.  People would react to that statement as if I had just kicked their baby or something! Comments vary slightly but go mostly like this:   "WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!"    "WHY?!"   "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"  "DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO YOU THAT WOULD MAKE YOU DO THAT?!"  And then, when I'd say "No, nothing happened."  People are all disbelieving like---"Um, no. Something must have happened and you're just not telling us what it is."  Bwhahaha.  So here's the scoop.  Nothing "happened" per say, but I have been tired of the annoying over sharing on there for a while...  i.e.  The ignorant status updates no one cares about, people's political convictions, the breakups, the makeups, the inappropriate photos of other people, the unflattering tagged photos of myself, the bathroom habits of peoples' toddlers,(what IS that about, seriously?)  the description of what folks are having for breakfast, lunch AND dinner--- Oh, man, it just got to be too much!!!  I needed a break.

The root cause of this decision, however, was planted because I started dating this guy (briefly) from Chattanooga that I met following the Avett Brothers show here in Nashville in October (ok, YES, we met in a bar.. but it sounds much better to say it was after a cool folk concert, yes?).  ANYWAY, long story short-- I tried to google stalk him.  Socially speaking---  people are google stalked for three primary reasons.  I'll list them in order:   1.You're not on Facebook.  2.You exhibit several red flags. 3.You don't exhibit ANY red flags.  This guy, we'll call him Chester (for no other reason except that I think that is a funny name), didn't exhibit any red flags.  And then, when I tried to find some on the internet-- I couldn't!  This kid wasn't on Facebook, he didn't have a Linked in account.  I couldn't find a thing about him when I looked up the "so-called" bank he worked for etc.. etc.. etc.. So then I started thinking.  Dang.  Maybe this google stalking is harder than I thought.  So, I put my OWN name in the browser.  Do you even KNOW what all came up?  My name, my address, my phone number, my Facebook page, my Linked in page, my work website, about 1 million photographs of me and my family, my friends, my ex-friends, my house, my dog!  Wait, whoa... I got carried away.   I don't even have a dog.  Whatever.  My POINT is... it was ridiculous.  Most of the pics and info came from my having a Facebook profile.. that's all I can figure.  It kind of freaked me out.  Also-- nothing wrong with proceeding through life with a little air of mystery about you,  if you ask me... So. Ta-dah!  Here I am.  Faceless in 2012.  .... .... I meant-- Facebookless in 2012.

Moving on...   It has really been on my mind lately to ask someone about America's recent affinity with green tea.  I just don't get it.  It tastes like hot water with a little bit funk added to it for good measure.  Terrible.

And finally, last night I dreamed that the Barack Obama's dog was pregnant.  I mean-- whaaaaat?!  I've had pregnant dreams before when I wake up sweating and stressed and panting and terrified of the embarrassment and hardship of being an unwed mother and what that would do to my life-----but this was WAY WORSE, let me tell you!  One minute I'm in the Oval Office with the Barack Obama's (and I keep referring to them as such because they were all there...  -- Michelle, Malia, Sasha, the President) and the next minute we were all in this barn out on this farm in West Virginia and their mutty dog was giving birth to 6 puppies!!  Straaaange I tell you.  I have NO idea what this means.  You know, sometimes I can sort of decipher meaning from my dreams or at the very least sort of derive why I dreamed it.  For this-- I have nothing... but thought is was at least worth a share due to it's randomness and recent occurrence.

As always,
Yours Ever,