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Monday, February 21, 2011

"Need Help in the Past"

Hello bloggies and bloggerinas--

I believe this makes for my 3rd post in one month which is sure to be some sort of a record for me.  At any rate-- I MUST tell you what happened to me last week while it is fresh on my brain.  It was pretty amazing.

It all started when my bestie and much blogged about friend, Mel Trib posted the following on her facebook page last week.  She said-- "Myra-- this is your chance" and then proceeded to post the link to a craigslist ad that has now been "flagged for removal" (huge bummer).. but it read a little something like this:

NEED HELP IN THE PAST:
I am from Brandon, Mississippi and have an actual working time machine.  I know this sounds hard to believe, but it is true.  At 10am on February 21st, I will be making a trip back to 1933 to take care of some business.  I need someone to go with me.  You can be either male or female, but you must be able to lift heavy objects.  You don't need to do anything but be here by 10am on the 21st and bring $2000 cash with you (it's not for me; it's for your own personal use).   I will need for you to find someone to watch my cat while we're away.  Also--your head must not be bigger than 64 cm in circumference.

My first thought after reading this was... Um... ... ... AWESOME! 

I know some of you have never met me--but if you've ever spent any real time with me at all-- you know that I hold time travel in the highest of regards.  I even mentioned it (briefly) in this blog.  And okay-- maybe I shouldn't say "time travel" but more the "idea" of it is ---to put it simply---- AMAZING---- to me.  It's more than that really.  The idea is astounding. Intriguing. Stupendous. Tremendous--you get where I'm going with this, right?.  You need to know that I am serious.  Can't get enough of Scott Bakula--EVER.  There are multiple other reasons, but he's a pretty damn good one in and of himself-- am I right, ladies?  Anyway-- what other choice did I have but to respond to this guy.... RIGHT?  I mean-- I am right, aren't I, people?  Here is how our story continues:

Hi,
I live in Nashville but am more than willing to drive to Brandon if you can guarantee actual time travel. My friend Melissa says she will watch your cat. Let me know.

Thanks, Myra


And to my surprise and absolute delight-- he wrote me BACK!  May I present to you, Robert Myers response:

I am currently busy making preparations for the 21st.
I have gotten a number of emails regarding people who want to help so I need to pick your brain to find out if you are right for the job.
Please reply with the answers to the questions below and we shall go from there.

Application for Possible Interview

1)How much do you know about the customs of the 30s?

2)Do you have any kids?

3)Who will be watching my cat while we are away?

4)Is the above person dependable? Does he/she love animals?

5)If something goes wrong and we are stuck in 1933 forever, how upset would you be?

6)Do you have any experience in time travel other than watching the movie Back To The Future?

7)What is the exact circumference of your head?

8)Do you have neat and legible handwriting?

9)Do you have $2000 personal spending money that you could bring? (For your own personal use.)

10)Oh no! The Flux Capacitator is out of sync. If we try to travel like this it will create time paradox in which we will be stuck in an infinite loop forever. How is the best way to go about fixing this problem?

Amazing.  

But--what was a girl to do?  A tiny little angel dressed in all white and bearing the exact likeness of me appeared on my right shoulder, and said --"My, NO.  Don't write this nutjob back!  Why do you even want to?  Because it's "funny" (she used air quotes).  Listen to me and don't do it! It's too dangerous!"  But then-- a tiny little devil dressed all in black and bearing the exact likeness of me (except her hair was all moussed and diffused and curly) appeared on my left shoulder and said--- "Oh, PUH-LEASE, My!  Don't listen to HER.  This is hilarious and awesome and NOT dangerous at all because it's completely anonymous and the closest you'll ever get to the idea of actual time travel in your entire LIFE!  Plus it will make a really entertaining blog!"

So... in the spirit of being... well-- ME.  I wrote him back:

Dear Robert, 
Please see my answers below in RED.


Application for Possible Interview

1)How much do you know about the customs of the 30s?
I really only know about the fashion of the thirties.  Men wore hats and double breasted suits, wingtip shoes, Etc.  The women, I know, wore street length dresses and were more glamorous for night time functions.  Of course, in 1933, I’m sure they were still suffering from the crash of 1929, so we may be going back to a more modest era.  I will do some more research before we leave!  

2)Do you have any kids?
No kids.

3)Who will be watching my cat while we are away?
Melissa Tribble from Greenwood, Mississippi. 

4)Is the above person dependable? Does he/she love animals?
She does love animals and is experienced in pet sitting.

5)If something goes wrong and we are stuck in 1933 forever, how upset would you be?
Not that upset, honestly.  I would learn to deal. We’d just have to look at it as an adventure and never give up on the idea that we may be able to one day get back to the 21st  century.

6)Do you have any experience in time travel other than watching the movie Back To The Future?
Quantum Leap is my favorite show.  I also LOVE Being Erica, (a show on Soapnet about a girl in her thirties who’s therapist sends her back in time to relive any and all regrets that she has).  I read The Time Travelers Wife and saw the movie.  I also really loved the Movie Kate & Leopold.  It probably taught me the most as far as “how” it all works.  Of course I’ve seen all the Back to the Future movies and love them.  I also think it is worth mentioning that in high school, I drove my grandmother’s 1985 ice blue Cadillac with white leather interior.  I wore giant cat-eyed sunglasses and refused to listen to anything but “oldies” on the radio station and we often referred to my car as “The Time Machine.”

7)What is the exact circumference of your head?
It is only 20inches around.  Probably a little bit larger if my hair is curly, but don’t worry.  I will straighten it for our trip.

8)Do you have neat and legible handwriting?
Yes I do.  I can write in cursive or just print. 

9)Do you have $2000 personal spending money that you could bring? (For your own personal use.)
Yes.  That seems like a lot of $ though… since we are going back to the 30s where things are much cheaper than today… Of course—if we get stuck there forever,  I guess I’ll need it. 

10)Oh no! The Flux Capacitator is out of sync. If we try to travel like this it will create time paradox in which we will be stuck in an infinite loop forever. How is the best way to go about fixing this problem?
 Usually – if you jolt the flux capacitor with a bolt of lightning or some other form of electricity—it syncs back up and would fix the problem. 


I am most disappointed to tell you that our story ends here.  He never responded and now I am left feeling ill-equipped and below par for the mission that will surely commence a mere 9 and 1/2 hours from now.  I guess he picked someone else to go back into 1933 with him.  RATS!  Rest assured that if this opportunity ever presents itself again--- I will rise to the challenge!  I will answer those questions with more gusto!!  (I'm thinking video message response) and I will study up on the ways of the time travelers and the customs of the thirty's via google, and I WILL be chosen the next time!!  As God is my witness-- I will be chosen!!! 

For now--it's probably best that I'm not spending 2 grand on a trip to 1933 or anywhere else for that matter.  Why, you ask?  Because I just spent all my money on my new and improved living room!  Check it out:

Before
 After
 Before
 After

 Before


After



 And for the grand finale
Tah-dah!  This is the closest I could come to capturing the whole room for you.  My brothers:
did such an incredible job on my new shelves!  Aren't they cute in that picture just working so hard?!  I just couldn't be more pleased with them.  And they did it all in a weekend, too!  I'm such a lucky girl to have such talent in the family.  Such selfless brothers too-- giving up a whole weekend to come and help me like that! Love them!  

I'm signing off for now.  Another Monday awaits!  Hope you all have a great one!  :)

Until next time,
Yours ever, 
Myra