Snow Schmo

OH MY WORD--- I am SO over this SNOW! It started Friday morning and today was the first day I even attempted to drive my car. I needed to go to the post office because that's where I get work-related mail, and I needed to go to Costco to get some things for my meeting on Wednesday, and I needed to go by Shelly & Heidi's house to get some stuff that I left over there when I left on Sunday morning--- and now I am STUCK at their house. That's right, my car is STUCK in this wretched snow and I can't go anywhere. But I'm getting ahead of myself... let's backtrack, shall we?

Friday, Jan. 29, 2010-- The dreaded snowfall begins mid-morning. Everyone is raving about their "snow day". I'm just WORKING from home like always and hating life because I know what this means: No going ANYWHERE this weekend. I begin to miss having roommates. I watched movies at home that night instead of boozing by myself... I figured it was the healthier option, and I felt like I had the beginnings of a cold/sinus infection coming on...

Saturday, Jan. 30, 2010-- I wake up to seven inches of snow. SEVEN. Everyone is talking about how beautiful it is on Facebook, and it is annoying me. Plus-- I'm being bombarded with texts of "Let's go sledding somewhere", but I wasn't even thinking about trying to drive because you all know what kind of luck I've been having in 2010----- NOT GOOD. So, I stayed home all the day... The cabin fever perpetually MOUNTING.

I had bought a ticket to this South Eastern Young Alumni event (SEYA), benefiting the Vanderbilt Children's Hospital, and after receiving word that it was NOT cancelled... I decided to call a taxi and go. I mean-- it was an open bar, for goodness sake, and at this point I could really use a drink... So---

I called a cab. Nehab came to get me in a big giant, snow covered SUV. I don't know where Nehab was from, but I'm guessing it is some place where they don't get much snow. This guy lost control of his vehicle FOUR (I counted) FOUR times. Each time letting go of the wheel and exclaiming, "OH SHEET, OH SHEET, OH SHEET" (that's my version of his expletive in his less than native tongue). Each time..., afterward, when he'd regained control of the car, he'd turn around and say, "Sorry ma'am." I was freaking out internally, but what was I going to do?! In what I tried to make a very calm, soothing voice I said something to the effect of: "Dude, it's okay. Just SLOW DOWN and be careful, geez!" I think I literally said, "Geez." I was also praying the whole time. That cab ride seemed like it took FOREVER, and I think he charged me DOUBLE. Whaaa?! But whatever, I was there, I was safe, I was alive! That was the important thing.

The party was nice. Good food. Open bar. Typical wedding band. Lots of people. It was formal, fancy, classy... ... except for this ONE guy... My friend Melissa and I decided to sit at a table and take a breather from the front row of the dance floor for a bit. I can only dance to Brick House and Mustang Sally so many times in my lifetime, you know? Anyway-- we sat down to take a breather and this guy who shall from this point on be referred to as "Outrageously Inappropriate Random Guy at the Party" or "OIRGATP" comes up and asks me to dance. Well-- he didn't really ASK me so much as he came up and held his hand in my face and wouldn't leave until I agreed to dance with him. He was pretty cute, so I gave in, but I do not like to dance with strangers... mostly because I am really bad at it. At least, I thought I was really bad at it. THIS guy couldn't LEAD his way out of a wet paper sack, and that's no lie. I suffered silently until the song ended (I think it was Tina Turner's "Rollin' on a River") then politely thanked him for the dance and started walking back to my seat. Here is what ensued:

OIRGATP: "Wait! Out of all the girls here-- YOU'RE the one I want to make out with...
Myra: "Um... ... thank you?"
OIRGATP: "What's your name?"
Myra: sighhhhhhhhs--- I'm Myra. What's your name?
OIRGATP: Grabs me around the waist and whispers in my ear: "Can I tell you with my tongue?"

Bwhahahahahaaha-- I MEAN, WHAAAAAAT?! WHO does that?!?!? I mentioned earlier that he was cute-- but COME ON--- Nobody is THAT cute! I laughed directly in his face, said "um, no way" and then basically sprinted to the bar and then back to the front row for the last verse of "Jesse's Girl". You gotta be careful at those benefits!!! Are there actually women out there who GO for this sort of thing?!?!

Seriously, I feel like I'm hit with this blatent, inappropriate behavior from the opposite sex A LOT. It's really sad, right?! I've always wanted to rare back and really slap somebody... and I guess maybe that was my chance... but honestly I didn't even think about it. I was shocked to the point of laughter... only he wasn't trying to be funny! He was serious! So laaaaaaaaame. And at a benefit for THE CHILDREN no less! Humphf!
I can't be the only one who encounters this... but perhaps I am the only one blogging about it.
SO--- to my faithful blog followers, a challenge: Please post in a comment on this post the WORST pick up line ever used on you... C'mon--- it'll be funny. Please play! Please? It will also make me feel better about my life seeing as how, apparently, I only attract douchebags!

Back to Saturday night: We stayed out til' 4am, and I crashed at Shelly and Heidi's house in an effort to avoid death by taxi cab for the 2nd time in a 12 hour period. The snow STILL hadn't melted when we all woke up on Sunday, but I caught a ride home with Jonathan, leaving behind my deodorent, contacts, contact solution, eye makeup remover, moisturizer, and CHAP STICK! You wanna talk about MISERY! Sighhhhhhhhh... I endured the night without it which brings us to present day (actually just a few hours ago). I roll up to Shelly and Heidi's around 3:30pm, retrieved my various toiletries only to come out and find that I am indeed STUCK in the snow.

A BIG shout out to Shelly, Heidi, and David Hefley who were able to PUSH my car up the hill and out onto the street. Yall are awesome, and I owe yall a beer or somethin' soon, k?!

In summation, I would just like to say that if it never snowed another FLAKE ever----I would be hap hap HAPPY about it. I bet Nehab feels the same way.

Don't forget to post your worst pickup lines ever on here.

Love yall, mean it!
Myra